WANT MORE CONFIDENCE? DO THIS

Do you wonder how you can be so competent and confident in some ways and feel totally incompetent and doubtful in others? That's pretty logical if you're comparing folding washing to flying to the moon, but I mean in day-to-day life. 

I'll give you examples.

I was with a friend in an outdoor restaurant. She was a successful career woman and in her element as she toured me through the facilities of the resort she worked at. As we sat and chatted, a bird flew under our canopy. Before I could blink, my friend was gone. She wasn't on her seat anymore.... she was crouched on the ground below it. Her phobia of birds instantaneously changed her emotionally and physically.

I have another friend I admire for her mental and physical toughness, commitment and stamina. She pushes herself ... and gets the results! But when it comes to her phobias, it's as if her whole persona changes. The confidence recedes and fear takes over.

And me? I'll talk in front of crowds, walk across hot coals and dig to depths of my emotional issues.... but put in eye-drops? No thanks! 😆

Phobia's are a topic unto themselves, but I use these anecdotes to emphasise the strategy that can help you improve those areas you want to feel more confidence.

Notice the words "you WANT to feel more confidence".

This is your one, lovely life. You get to choose how you play! So, if you're interested in uplevelling by stopping a behaviour, reducing a behavour or starting a behaviour, here's how you do it.

First, be guided by the number one step of my EMPOWERED framework, Dream It. That means, set aside time to get clear on what matters to you, why you want to stop, reduce or start this behaviour and get detailed about who will benefit from your uplevel. Is it just you? Your children? Your colleagues or workplace? Will the greater good benefit from this? And what are the negative impacts if you don't change? This is your motivating WHY.

So much of motivation is a mental game and the secret is to make staying the same seem really, really terrible, while making the results of your changes totally compelling and inspirational 🎉

After you've gotten clear on your WHY (step one), take time to dig into the next two points:

1. journal about who you are when you're feeling competent, great, in control, invincible!

• What self-talk do you have?
• What's happening with your body? (eg posture, movements, breathing)
• How are you feeling?

2. journal about who you are when you're feeling incompetent, not confident or anxious.

• What self-talk do you have?
• What's happening with your body? (eg posture, movements, breathing)
• How are you feeling?

Next - and ongoingly - picture a scale, shopping bags, buckets or any imagery that works for you. Label one for each of the two areas your comparing. This exercise will show you your self-talk, body language and feelings are creating the behaviour of confidence or lack-there-of. The trick to uplevel is to focus modelling what you do when you feel confident, when you're not feeling confident. You want to fill the 'less than' bag with more confident thoughts, just like the bag that currently holds your confident thoughts about the area that's feels easy to you.

Nobody's taught you how to use your brain to your advantage (except for regurgitating learning at school and let's face it, that english paper and algebra test isn't helping you keep your cool when Miss 3 tantrums for the fourth time this hour and you're wishing you could stay calm 😩🤌).

Not being taught how to control your thoughts has let the negative self-talk to get really comfy in your brain. It's planted weeds that have taken over! You can get rid of them by 

- noticing them

- separating them/pulling them out

- replanting your fave flowers 💐

The best way to do this is by reminding yourself DAILY that you're a capable and competent human! I've seen, read and met SO MANY people who've upleveled because they've learned to change their thinking and this one thing has changed their lives! (hint hint: mine too 🙋‍♀️)

I know you can do it to. Whatever the area you wish you were better at, whether it be physically, emotionally, socially, academically or mentally, start today. Small steps are the best way to walk the marathon of life. In summary, to feel more confident in one area, take from another! And don't tell me you're not good at anything, 'cause I just won't believe it. We've all got our special something, you included 💖

Until next time, stay amazing and enjoy.

Catherine