EXPANSION OF HEART AND MIND

When you read this question, did an answer appear in your mind? What if you were to write for the next 5 minutes, allowing any and all thoughts to fall onto the page, free from judgement or perceived societal limitations?

Moments of introspection and intentional play such as this simple activity offers the opportunity to explore areas of interest or desire, often previously unrecognised in the busy-ness of life.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if …?

When you begin this game your responses might appear obvious to you. … complete with an eye roll and scoff of sarcasm.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if I won $1 million dollars?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone picked up after themselves?

Wouldn’t it be great if I could sleep for 8-uninterrupted-hours?

I hear you and yes, these logical go-to thoughts WOULD be amazing. But let’s go deeper. If you were to quiet your environment, quiet your mind and still your soul, what would you hear? Allow curiosity to flow through you and into your pen.

Write.

Stay curious. No judgement.

Write.

Stay curious. No judgment.

Wouldn’t it be cool if …..?

This practice makes me think of a coil or spring. When you were a child, did you ever attempt to make a slinky walk down a flight of stairs? Stretch. Contract. Stretch. Contract. As you prioritise this looking within, it’s as if you’re contracting. You’re pulling inward, closer to your inner wisdom and closer to the core of your being. Can you feel it? Your mind is searching and seeking out the voice of your heart. Can you hear your soul beginning to speak to you?

“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in a bud

was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”

Anais Nin

Step into your curiosity as you begin to review your answers. As you do this notice the responses from your body and use this as a guide to deepen the message you’re searching for. Of all your responses, which appears to be impacting you most?

Now I offer you a challenge. A second game to play – a game of expansion.

Choose the response which most resonates with you and consciously consider it in the context of the following questions. If this something ‘wonderful’ were to occur:

• How would it present in your life?
• Who would you need to be to allow it?
• What would you have to believe to embed it?
• What would it give you?

Let’s work through an example.

Wouldn’t it be AWESOME if I didn’t yell at my children anymore?

• This would present as calmness and connection in our home. My children would feel safer and more secure in my presence and I’d be rid of the mother-guilt.
• To allow this new strategy to occur, I’d need to be in control …. of me, not my children. To not use yelling as a strategy, I’d have to be aware of my triggers and just as aware of easily accessible go-to strategies I could use instead. Like putting myself in time out to breathe perhaps? Getting enough sleep, limiting the responsibilities I put on myself, reviewing the expectations I put on my child, and ensuring I’ve eaten well so I am as energised at possible. Perhaps a favourite song or new morning routine could help. I’d need to own my ‘stuff’ if I was going to stop yelling.
• I’d have to believe there IS another way and that I’m able to choose it. I’d have to believe other mothers were once yellers too, but found ways to change. I’d have to believe this was a non-negotiable, that the damage being done by my yelling is so damaging, I won’t tolerate it anymore. I’d have to believe I’m doing the best I can every day and that’s enough, so I’m gently with myself as I progress, rather than adding another piece of ‘see-you-don’t-know-what-you’re-doing’ evidence to my existing list. I’d have to believe in my power to model regulation to my children. Why would I expect a three year old not to tantrum, if I’ve had ten times her life experience and STILL lose it?!?
• If I didn’t yell at my children as a tool for stress management or control, I’d so relieved and proud I could quite possibly fall to the ground and weep tears of gratitude as I sent a prayer heavenward. This has been my goal for so long. If I didn’t yell anymore, I’d replace that interaction with connection, love and positive communication. I’d feel better about my parenting and about myself. I’d feel more confident to accept invitations for playdates and outings because my confidence would increase. I’d be so, so, so, so, so happy my child is seeing the love I have in my heart and the mother I desperately want to be. It would give me back my peace.

This is your moment for expansion. When the person, experience or strategy no longer serves you and your soul begins to stir, this is your moment of choice.

To contract or expand? I urge you to choose expansion.

*as seen in Simple Sacred Spaces e-magazine (find Simple Sacred Spaces on facebook and give them a like)