3 QUESTIONS TO GUIDE YOU THROUGH MOTHERHOOD

"Birth is not only about making babies.

It's about making mothers."

Barbara Katz Rothman

When you had your baby, were you given information about personal development, growth or identity changes? I can't recall being educated in this way. Sure, I was given pamphlets on drinking enough water and resting when the baby rests, but nothing about the mental game I had unknowingly embarked on. 

My common-sense told me it would be 'an adjustment' or 'I'll be tired in the beginning', but everything that came with the next three decades of mothering? Nope.

Fast forward many years and I was sitting in a room of soon-to-be-qualified life coaches. After much online requirements, this particular session was seven days of intensive face-to-face workshops, information absorption and application. I was on the edge of my seat with every new awareness that unveiled an internal thought of 'mother's need to know this'. That thought echoed through my mind day after day, moment after moment. And it still does.

Yes, children need to have their basic needs of love, shelter and food met (thank you Maslow for your hierarchy of needs 👌). And so do the adults!

But as we 'actualise' up Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, who's showing mothers how  to emotionally and mentally do this? 

Not only are mums (and dads) quickly thrown into a HUGE emotional rollercoaster, they're SO SO tired, physically drained (and altered), often without support when most needed (hello 1am, 2am, 3am feeds) AND life continues on. Are our minds also supposed to be forward-focussed and sharp as a tac? That would be near impossible so days begin rolling into another (perhaps another bub's come along) and before you know it, your children aren't babies anymore. 

They're out in the world 

- living

- experimenting

- hurting

- being hurt

- finding passions

- feeling uncertain

All. The. Things.

And mum's at home hoping she's done a 'good job'.

Whether you're expecting your first beautiful baby, your children are causing harmless chaos in your home or you're heading into grandparent years, it's never too late to ask yourself the questions I wish I'd thought of earlier.

- Who and how do I want to be as a mother?

- What matters to me in raising a child? 

- What baggage might unconsciously prevent these? (Yep, this is important)

As I reflect on my three decades of parenting with the gift of hindsight (and a generous dose of compassion - please try it), as year after year I watch young children play and grow at my preschools, and as I hear the worries of parents on drop-offs and pick-ups or phone calls here and there, I wish I could sign-write these questions across the sky.

- Who and how do I want to be as a mother?

- What matters to me in raising a child? 

- What baggage might unconsciously prevent these?

From one mum doing her best to another, stay amazing.

Catherine

PS For more conversations and support, come join us in my online membership for mother EMPOWERED