3 MINDSET MUST-HAVES FOR MUMS

Hands up if motherhood isn't what you thought it'd be? 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

Cherub cheeks, lullabies, loving gazes, hand-holding, snuggles, stories, walks in the sunshine and sweet, sweet slumbers. Nawwww, the loveliness.

I'm sure these exist somewhere amidst the chaos, fatigue, worry and monotony of spills, tantrums, to-do lists and isolation. Sometimes the feel-goods can be hard to find though.

This is the reality of motherhood, both the sweetness and the suffering. But nobody PLANS or DESIRES to suffer, so let's embrace this duality of motherhood (heck, of life) and get on with motivating your good ol' self!

These 3 MINDSET HACKS FOR MUMS ARE A SUPERSTART to increasing your happy hormones, making you a little less stressed and leaning more into that woman you want to be. 

Let's Do It ⬇️

1)  Replace guilt with growth

"My children chose me because I'm the perfect mother for them"

"Children learn through repeated patterns: one mis-hap isn't scarring them for life"

"I'm figuring this out"

"Managing my mind and responses is getting easier everyday"

These are examples to get you started. See, 101 of resiliency, learned happiness, personal development and just plain old 'I-want-to-feel-better-strategies' is using better SELF-TALK. Do you know there's a little voice in your head, whispering to you - and in some cases, screaming at you - all day and during many nights? This constant internal chatter then affects how you feel and how you feel affects what you do or don't do. If you're happy, how do you act? If you won the lotto, how would you act? If you're devastated, how do you act? Thoughts and feelings MATTER. 

Your self-talk can come from your childhood, society, or past experiences. It's either building you up or breaking you down. You don't want it doing the latter! Jeepers, there's enough challenges OUTSIDE your control to let your internal world be breaking you too. Hack one is to catch these pesky little thoughts and turn them into mantras that work for you. This won't stick at first, especially if your brain has had years of running a berating loop of how you're not good enough or how hard life is, but brains are pliable and able to be re-taught, right? 

A child learns to walk after falling down, accident victims can relearn skills like talking & texting, and you can retrain your brain to think better thoughts. Promise!

Why does this mindset hack matter? Because it brings you back to your personal power, helping you reset or calm your nervous system, increases feelings of hopefulness and shifts you to a place of optimism and option. What great lessons to model to your children!

2) Don't feel sorry for your child

This is a common one with mums, including me :-(

I get it.

It's easy and natural to worry and fear for your child, in turn, making you feel 'sorry' for them when life throws them hardship. Let's think about it this way: feeling sorry for someone hints at feeling bad for, or even an incapability. And I know that's NOT what you mean when you feel sorry for your friends, family or child. You CARE for them. Your heart breaks for them. You wish you could take their pain away. That's different to seeing them as a victim. 

There's the slightest variance in these feelings, but this variance is important because it impact the energy being shared. So in the instance your child is experiencing a situation, challenge or relationship that's tugging on your heartstrings a little more than usual, take a sec' to tap into your thinking & find what you're making this mean. What are the thoughts playing in your brain? If they're supportive, rock on. If they're leaning you toward victim thinking for you or your child, it's time to retrain your brain again - like in step one 👍

Bad things can happen to good people and hurt goes hand in hand with being human. Your child can't outrun it, hide from it or smile it away. And neither can you. Believe me, I've tried! That's the skill of an Enneagram 7...

What are you to do?

Not wallow in despair and not bypass these emotions either. Emotions are communication. They're energy that needs to move through your mind and body. Your ability to maintain your emotional strength so you're able to hold a safe and trusting space for your child is the greatest resource and energy exchange you could gift them.

You've begun with new thoughts to increase your feelings of competency, next you're choosing purposeful thoughts about your child.

Here are example mantras to help you get going:

"My child is a child and they're learning"

"Somewhere, somehow, every experience is FOR my child, not against them, even if I can't see how"

"My child has all the skills and qualities their soul needs for their life journey"

"It's not my job to shelter my child. It's my job to be one of their safe spaces as they live"

3) Make your outside world and inside job

Hack three is similar to the first step because it involves thoughts about you. The difference is hack one was designed to move you from mum-guilt to self-confidence and you having your own back in this tricky and ever-changing parenting role. Hack three is about JOY, EXCITEMENT & MOTIVATION! 🎉

Taking responsibility and action to live a high-vibe, yet authentic, life is KEY to loving your role of mum and designing a mindset you're proud of! It's great to have friends and family who support you and give you the good-feels, but ultimately, this is an inside job. Regardless of what's happening in the world, your relationships or your workplace, your ability to feel satisfied, enthusiastic and content in life is a worthy goal my beautiful friend. I'm sure you agree. 

And it all starts in your mind. Yes, that malleable, complex, over-thinking, highly-critical brain of yours. You CAN learn to calm it 🤌

So take these 3 mindset hacks for mums to retrain your brain to:

1) build yourself up

2) remind yourself your child is SO CAPABLE

3) get excited about life again!

Turn off the rules and expectations of others, society, family or friends, find your lane and RUN gorgeous woman, RUN toward a life you LOVE.

Sincerely

Catherine x

PS if you'd like a supportive community to navigate parenting and life with, you need to get inside EMPOWERED the membership to empower you and your child